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 Chuck Norris facts

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Sibs#12
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PostSubject: Chuck Norris facts   Sat Jan 10, 2009 12:15 pm

Post all your Chuck Norris facts here Smile
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Sibs#12
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Sat Jan 10, 2009 12:16 pm

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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Shooter
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Sat Jan 10, 2009 12:21 pm

Chuck Norris isn’t hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.


Last edited by Shooter on Sat Jan 10, 2009 12:23 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Pantherus
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Sat Jan 10, 2009 12:21 pm

In Soviet Russia - Chuck Norris is still in charge

Jesus walked on water - Chuck Norris can walk on air

Chuck Norris can breath in a vacuum


Last edited by Pantherus on Sat Jan 10, 2009 12:26 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Sibs#12
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Sat Jan 10, 2009 12:22 pm

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Laughing
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MJ
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Sat Jan 10, 2009 12:23 pm

Martin Skrtel


haha i remeber the Skrtel thread on sportal where Chuck Norris was replaced by Martin Skrtel
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jacques de molay
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Sat Jan 10, 2009 4:09 pm

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
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TGBY
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Sat Jan 10, 2009 4:14 pm

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

\Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.

Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.


Last edited by The Guy Behind You on Sat Jan 10, 2009 4:24 pm; edited 1 time in total
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jacques de molay
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Sat Jan 10, 2009 4:18 pm

Using his trademark roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris once kicked a goal at the MCG in Melbourne from the 50m arc of the Subiaco in Perth
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Megadeecee
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Sat Jan 10, 2009 6:45 pm

some classics here all great . I liked the Evolution one the best . Actual Chuck Norris Quote "you can't trust a man without scars" Said to a kid on Walker T.R. :thumbsu:
Just to stay on track when Chuck does weights the weights machine gets stronger
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Sibs#12
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Sat Jan 10, 2009 10:34 pm

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

I just love that one. Laughing
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Stoke
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Sat Jan 10, 2009 11:38 pm

sibs#12 wrote:

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

6 minutes later

sibs#12 wrote:

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Laughing

10 hours 12 minutes later

sibs#12 wrote:

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

I just love that one


you must really love that quote
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TheFeldster
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Sun Jan 11, 2009 2:15 am

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door


When Chuck Norris blinks, someone dies. Unless he blinks while roundhouse kicking someone in the head, in which case 2 people die.
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Shooter
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Sun Jan 11, 2009 2:02 pm

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody

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samthaman15
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Tue Jan 13, 2009 7:12 am

When Chuck Norris jumps in water he doesnt get wet, the water gets Chuck Norrised
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Cynic
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Tue Jan 13, 2009 7:18 am

Humans didn't create the hole in the ozone layer. Chuck Norris did.
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DaneSwan#36
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Tue Jan 13, 2009 8:14 am

Go to Google
>
Type in "find chuck norris"
>
click, I'm feeling lucky
>
it is funny.
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Tue Jan 13, 2009 8:23 am

Google got Norris-ed.
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TealDevils
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Tue Jan 13, 2009 8:28 am

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming law and order are trademarked for his left and right legs

Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush
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Sibs#12
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Tue Jan 13, 2009 8:29 am

Yep, I've seen that before Scruff...pretty funny aye.

And then where it says 'Pages from Australia', it says 'Pages from Chuck's Beard' lol
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TealDevils
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Tue Jan 13, 2009 8:32 am

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.

Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words
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TealDevils
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Tue Jan 13, 2009 8:34 am

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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Cynic
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Tue Jan 13, 2009 8:36 am

The Guy Behind You wrote:
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

\Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.

Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.


It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

He beat you to this one, Teal. Check people's posts more properly next time.
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TheFeldster
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Tue Jan 13, 2009 8:36 am

Teal Devils wrote:
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

Pfft, that one made me laugh!
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TealDevils
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Tue Jan 13, 2009 8:37 am

Cynic wrote:
The Guy Behind You wrote:
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

\Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.

Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.


It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

He beat you to this one, Teal. Check people's posts more properly next time.
dammit to hell
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