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 Chuck Norris facts

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a_F_c
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:26 pm

MJ wrote:
Martin Skrtel


haha i remeber the Skrtel thread on sportal where Chuck Norris was replaced by Martin Skrtel

Laughing
yeh hahahaha
loved it
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DaneSwan#36
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Tue Jan 13, 2009 1:42 pm

Chuck Norris Facts?

Okay!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Norris_facts
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Ashes
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Tue Jan 13, 2009 2:54 pm

Chuck Norris' strongest punch doesn't come from his two fists.
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keno
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Wed Jan 14, 2009 12:40 am

i love this one
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
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Jammo
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Wed Jan 14, 2009 6:29 pm

-Chuck Norris was originally cast in The Lord of The Rings but was fired as 5 minutes into the movie he had already kicked saurons ass.

-Chuck norris CAN sneeze with his eyes open

-Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard.... and skewered 3 men through the heart with it
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Wed Jan 14, 2009 6:31 pm

www.chucknorrisfacts.com
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Sibs#12
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Thu Jan 15, 2009 12:18 am

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

There are only two things in the world that can cut diamonds ... other diamonds and Chuck Norris.

They once tried to carve Chuck Norris' face into Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.

Jesus walked on water, but Chuck Norris swam through land.
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TealDevils
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Sat Jan 31, 2009 12:33 am

bump
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Niv
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Sat Jan 31, 2009 1:38 am

Old, very old.

But oh well, Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a boner - there were no survivors.
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NBrown#16
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Sat Jan 31, 2009 5:56 am

Chuck norris has two speed's. Walk and Kill
Chuck Norris fails to recognise the periodic table as he only recognises the element of fear
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
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Niv
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Sat Jan 31, 2009 6:16 am

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard, only another fist.
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smashedmirror704
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Sat Jan 31, 2009 7:48 am

Might have already had this, but:
Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands, and when he left, they were just the Islands.
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Sibs#12
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Sat Jan 31, 2009 7:55 am

LOL we havent had that one smashedmirror. Love it! Smile
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Manning18
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Sat Jan 31, 2009 9:08 am

They once made Chuck Norris toilet paper--there was 1 problem-- it didn't take shit from anybody

Chuck Norris Crossed the road, No one has ever dared to question his motives

At First there was nothing. Until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said 'Get a job!'
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RED&GREEN4EVA
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Wed Aug 04, 2010 5:05 am


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RED&GREEN4EVA
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Wed Aug 04, 2010 5:06 am

Chuck Norris once had sex with 500 women. He was the only survivor.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Wed Aug 04, 2010 5:08 am

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SUGEKNIGHT
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Wed Aug 04, 2010 5:49 am

˙˙˙sıɹɹoN ʞɔnɥƆ ʎq pǝʞɔıʞ ǝsnoɥpunoɹ sɐʍ ʇuǝɯɯoɔ sıɥ┴
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Wed Aug 04, 2010 6:00 am

chuck norris once had a staring contest with his own reflection, on the 4th day, he won

people say what would jesus do? well jesus says what would chuck norris do?

Chuck Norris puts the "Laughter" in "Manslaughter"

Chuck Norris once sold ice to an eskimoe

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did


chuck norris doesnt use pick up lines he just points and says NOW!
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SUGEKNIGHT
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Wed Aug 04, 2010 6:06 am

when God said it was good Chuck Norris said its not good enough


Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his balls cause hair doesn't grow on steel.


they say jesus can walk on water. well chuck norris can swim on land
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SUGEKNIGHT
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Wed Aug 04, 2010 6:18 am

Chuck Norris once told Chuck Norris a Chuck Norris joke. But Chuck Norris didn't laugh. Because Chuck Norris jokes aren't funny.
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SUGEKNIGHT
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Wed Aug 04, 2010 6:22 am

Bruce Lee >>>> Chuck Norris
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TheFeldster
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Wed Aug 04, 2010 4:39 pm

RED&GREEN4EVA wrote:

Bowdown
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south01
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Tue Aug 10, 2010 9:49 am

These are my all time favorite 2 Chuck Norris Facts!!

1)Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
2) Chuck Norris doesn't fear the dark the dark fears Chuck Norris.
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PostSubject: Re: Chuck Norris facts   Tue Aug 10, 2010 9:55 am

Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.

Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.
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